Today’s post is a wonderful heartfelt article written by Valya Boutenko. Valya has been on raw food for most of her childhood and into her twenties, which as she shares was not always easy, but it meant she developed some unique views early in life. Valya has worked closely with inspiring many young people to be healthy and has developed a deep understanding of why children often rebel against nutritious food options.
Parents often ask me how they can make their children eat healthier. I tell them that they can’t make their children eat healthier, but they can inspire them to want to become healthier. It is not true that children don’t want to be healthy. Everyone wants to be strong, smart, and full of energy. What children are protecting themselves from when they say they don’t like healthy food, is the pressure to do what they don’t want to. If your children are revolting to the idea of health food, it means they have a will of their own. It is a sign that they want to choose for themselves, and this is a blessing.
Problems occur when we want a child to want something he or she does not want. In this case, it is important to consider what we would like the reason for the child’s action to be. Do we want our children to mindlessly obey our command and the commands of others? Do we want them to do what we tell them to out of fear of punishment? Or do we want our children to make decisions that are motivated by their own personal values?
In the words of Alfie Kohn, “Punishments and force produce only anger, defiance and a desire for revenge. They encourage power over reason, and crush delicate relationships between children and parents.” Punishments can make a child temporarily comply, but it’s unlikely that these kinds of tactics will teach children to make better decisions. When children know they will be punished for their actions, they deal with the situation in the most logical way, and begin to lie.
As Marshall B. Rosenberg writes in his book Nonviolent Communication, “I wonder whether people who proclaim the successes of punishment are aware of the countless instances of children who turn against what might be good for them simply because they choose to fight, rather than succumb, to coercion.”
So what is there to do? How can we help our children become healthy? I have noticed that children are highly susceptible to inspiration. When kids are around my brother and I, they start eating healthy things without our even mentioning raw foods. They can see for themselves how easy it is to eat good things, and how much fun it is to be healthy. As Krishnamurti once said, “To teach by example is not the best way to teach, it is the only way.” As parents, grandparents, and friends, you are one of children’s greatest influences. You can inspire them to make good choices.
I think there is no difference between children and adults. Grown-ups may have more life experience, we are all living this moment for the first time. There is nothing children love more, than to be spoken to as equals. They are so intelligent, that it is often unnecessary to simplify things for them. I am frequently amazed at the depth of understanding children possess. Sometimes children have been told to sit still and be quiet so regularly, that they are not sure how to communicate their true thoughts and feelings. In these situations questions like, “How was school?” are not enough to open their hearts and let them say what they feel. It is sad for me to see how often kids are hurtled into different diets without any clue of why it is so important.
When I speak to young humans about health, I try to make it very clear why I think it is so essential to be healthy. For me, health is truly the greatest gift there could be. To be healthy means to live a life without disease. It means being youthful throughout all of my life, recovering quickly from accidents, and having plenty of energy with which to manifest my dreams. Live foods have made me more alive! Continue Reading
